probably will delete this later. I don’t know. just need to vent. sorry. NO REGRETS

I ran a little table at a local comics show today. the crowd was totally different than the webcomics crowd. mostly male, there were people who barely used computers. guys who literally scoffed at me when I asked them if they read webcomics. I have so much to talk about but I just want to highlight two very different experiences, both involving younger girls (ages ~11).

first, the positive: I had a dad and a young daughter come up to my table. the dad explained that he bought Rumbirds chapter 1 for his daughter at the local comic store. I was so ecstatic, I kept thanking her as she shyly wrote her name and e-mail on the mailing list sheet I had out. she just looked so happy and so excited! this is exactly the impact I wanted to make on younger girls who came into the comic store. I want girls to feel like there is a place for them in comics. that there are stories that will make her laugh and cry without the boobs and the sex. that she could read my comic and never worry about having to put up with girls in sexy poses for no reason. I wanted to tell her all this, that there exists comics that she can read without feeling alienated. but instead I just kept thanking her, and we were both beaming, probably for different reasons. I can’t forget how happy she looked.

then, the negative: a little while later came in a dad with his young sons. he told me he had bought a copy of chapter 1 at the same comic store. he told me that his sons read comics and that he was thinking of introducing his young daughter to them as well. but he felt hesitant because of the material in mainstream comics. he was considering showing his daughter Rumbirds…but then came the questions.

1.) what age range did I think my comic was intended for?
2.) what’s the deal with the smoking?
3.) did I choose to censor the swears out myself? or because the comic store told me to?

all of these were asked without a trace of condescension. he was genuinely wondering what my thought process was behind these. I explained that the comic is probably for ages 13 and up. that no matter what, children are exposed to people smoking everyday both in real life and in media, so to me it didn’t make sense to censor that for kids. (they’re not stupid.) and that I chose to censor the swears myself for humorous value (and also the uncensored swears made the dialog feel a lot harsher than I wanted. but I forgot to mention this). I also told him about the girl from earlier, how happy and excited she seemed to stumble on my table with her dad.

he was completely understanding with all of my answers. the conversation was friendly enough, but it still didn’t sit right with me. until I saw him walk away with his little boy. and then it hit me.

he didn’t care that his sons were reading comics with gratuitous violence and skin. yet he was hesitant to show his daughter a comic that has a smoking character in it?

if anything, these two experiences made me want to create more. push myself harder. all my anxieties and insecurities, I don’t care anymore. I WANT my comics to be on those shelves, defying those scoffing old school traditional comic bros. I NEED my comics to be on those shelves, standing out like a lighthouse beam for girls lost in a sea of tits and asses. I don’t consider my work to be all that great - I’m still learning, obviously - but if it can make a girl happy and interested in comics then goddamit I’ve found my calling. I want to be the comic artist that I wish I could have stumbled upon years ago, when I was visiting comic stores with my dad.